Post Teacher Burnout Syndrome

It’s been almost two years since I posted on The Conscious Pedagogue. To be honest, the hiatus was needed—I needed time, alone. Going back into the classroom full time last year made me realize the impact COVID-19 lockdown had on me. Being home and teaching remote, then teaching hybrid, to being in-person full-time was draining. There were too many changes happening to me all at once and just like the students, I needed a gradual acclimation back to the classroom. My pride and ego would not let me admit to this reality but I would when I came to the realization that I was no longer the teacher I used to be. Granted, I can make and produce content. To be honest, my content has improved due to remote learning and made my pedagogy versatile in any format. But mentally, I was not the same—I was angry, scared, tired, and drained. My mindset wondered, what is the point of this? Why are we back in the classroom, its to soon to be in person? Of course my city did not adequately prepare for millions of children to return, parents had questions that couldn’t be answered, and the protocols changed everyday.

During this hiatus I took time to reflect, heal, and get my mind right. These two years had me center myself and repriorize what is essential to me. I spent time with family, became more disciplined in my spirituality, transitioned into vegetarianism, and began teaching in a new school that aligns more with my teaching philosophy.

Long story short, I am rested and ready to get back to work and supporting teachers in their pedagogy.

I have new content, stayed tuned and thank you for your support.

Aurora

What is a Conscious Pedagogue?

I never was a fan of the phrase “woke,” the term is cute but trendy, and my students consistently used the word without processing what “wokeness” represents to those actively combatting against systemic abuses. It was annoying observing my students refer to themselves as woke and observe teachers who did not support Black Lives Matter, wear “woke” labeled t-shirts as an attempt to bond with their students (their plans backfired tremendously). When I questioned my students to define what it means to be “woke,” they could never provide an answer, or I would get the usual “I don’t know, miss, let me rock.”

In my first school, my friends and I created a Black Student Union club. We had a decent number of registrants, especially after we promised pizza every session. The discussions in BSU ranged from light conversations to philosophical discourse. One meeting that was the most memorable was our conversation on what does wokeness mean? The students explained that wokeness means fighting against systems and discussing with others about injustices that permeate our society. When it was my turn, I explained how wokeness is a lifestyle and not a badge or costume only used in response to a viral video on social media. If a person is “woke,” their awareness of social and racial injustice is heightened and sensitive to the injustices in our everyday lives.

In short, a conscious pedagogue is an educator who uses their classroom to teach their students about the social, economic, and political injustices within our society. The instruction provided by a CP should make a student proficient in identifying injustice. Skillwise, students should be equipt with the tools necessary to dismantle unjust systems.

The Loss of My Cousin, My Best Friend

Today I say his name, Larry, Lawrence Dewyatt Abrams. my Cousin, my Babalawo, my Brother, my Friend. This day the ancestors our shared Egun has summoned you, to deliver sermon to them , to continue the work you did while you were on Earth. Your passing has caused a deep hole in my heart, I feel a gap in my soul knowing I can’t call you anymore, I won’t be able to irritate you with my paranoia mixed with incessant overthinking, and most importantly I am going to miss our talks.

For those of you reading this post, my cousin was my rock, he was there for me during my darkest moments and knows my most intimate secrets, Lawrence was loyal, candid, and brilliant. He was a Yale graduate and earned honors at that (yass honey!) . He was selfless, he was an agent for change, he was an educator, he advocated for the lives of black gay men, and would be quick to check the privilege of the ignorant. I love my cousin, I LOVE MY COUSIN! I will need a lot of time to heal from his passing but in the Yoruba faith (Santeria) we believe that your soul joins the ancestors (Egun). My prayers will reach him and he will look after me.

I will continue to say his name, Lawrence Dewyatt Abrams I love you, always and forever.

I dedicate my blog to you.

Respectfully,

Starr (Aurora)

My Experience Teaching During COVID-19: The Non-Enabler

I always wanted to become a teacher however I started out my career in a different field, it was okay but I felt the need to be the teacher that I always knew I could be so here I am a teacher, and a teacher now during Covid-19. 

My experiences have been split between students that are working very hard and students that are hardly working. Most of my students are freshmen from middle school and their skills are very low.  literacy across the board is already low from many students, but these particular students have basically no skills yes I am a special education teacher so some of my students have a second to a third-grade reading level I'm totally understanding their needs but outside of that, I think most students are capable following instructions, some organization skills, motivation skills and strength and knowledge in what they are doing. However, some choose not to do what is expected of them. 

I think the student’s parents in some ways enable students to lack motivation and I know some students are struggling at home with family issues some are living in shelters some are living in an abusive household, living in a home with too many family members in the home and it's often loud, some students are in homes where the parents may be on drugs so it's really hard for them to focus especially now taking classes on zoom. In my school, there are so many opportunities for students to receive extra help during and after school. Some teachers myself included having given nights and weekends to assist. In the end, we just continue to try and push them as much as possible hoping that the lessons that we are trying to teach them they will grasp it before it’s too late.

My story. My Truth.

-The Non-Enabler